First off, name that musical!
Second, I went to see my student teaching mentor teacher (who I am going to start calling Mrs. K. becuae typing “my student teaching mentor teacher” is a pain) again today. I talked to her on Friday about all of the insane incidents of last week and went back today. I feel like I cannot do anything right and I know she believes I can do this and that I can do some things right. I walked in and she was on the phone so I stayed in the hallway and looked at all of the cute artwork the students have done in kindergarten. As I was standing out there, another kindergarten teacher walked past and asked how things were going. I gave my usual, “oh, you know…” answer and then remembered, she really does know. I said it again this time with a tone that suggested she really did know.
She said she knows I am doing great. Then Mrs. K. walked into the doorway. The other teacher said, “tell her. Tell her she is doing great.” It made me smile. This teacher who barely knew me had nice things to say about me. I am very blessed to have people who are as great as the ones around me.
I asked Mrs. K. what she thought about taking away an entire recess because the teacher next door said that is what she would do with my class. She asked me why and I said, “they never stop talking. They talk over each other. They talk over me. And I always feel like I am just yelling at them.” She reminded me that I should look for the positives because it would help me feel a little less frustrated and the kids would not pick up that I was frustrated. Mrs. K. is a pretty smart lady so I am going to take her advice. She has yet to steer me wrong.
I told her the name of the student I am having the most trouble with and Mrs. K. walked out into the hall and started yelling for the teacher I had talked to in the hallway earlier. That teacher had this student when she was in kindergarten. She gave me some suggestions after I talked to her about everything that has gone on with this student. It was helpful to know that there are some options out there for me that I didn’t know about before.
My dad says I can’t fix everyone and maybe he is right and maybe he is not. It’s hard to think that I have kids in my class who are asking me for help and I struggle to help them because I am stuck on having to watch this student like a hawk. From the outside, teaching has kind of looked like helping that one kid that needed it most and making a difference in that one’s life. Now that I am in it, I can’t decide which one needs it the most. Maybe it isn’t as obvious as all the motivational videos we watched in college classes made it seem. Mrs.K. should make her own motivational video except she would just tell you how aweful things could be and to be glad things are not that bad for you. It motivates me, anyway.
Mrs. K. and I walked out together like we did during student teaching and she said, “I’ll see you tomorrow… Actually, I won’t…” I maybe cried a little on the way to my car. She also said it’s almost hump day… I told her we haven’t gotten through Wednesday yet!