Things I Never Thought I Would Have To Say

Growing up, I played school a lot. I even made my sister play, despite the fact that she had no aspiration to become a teacher in her future. It should come as no surprise to you that my little class of twelve pretend students were absolutely perfect. They all did their work and played nicely together. At the end of the day, they cleaned up their area, picked up all of their homework, and went home to play outside until they had to come in for dinner. 

It should also not come as a surprise to you that this is not the case with job I actually have. What surprises me most about my current place in the world is not the funny things my students say or the trouble they tend to get thselves into but the things that come out of my own mouth before my brain catches up with it. 

Things like…

“Stop talking and look at your iPad…” 

“If you say the number 21 one more time and the answer is not actually 21, you will loose your entire recess!” 

“How long has that beetle been in your art box?” 

“Whipping your hair back and forth during class is not allowed.” 

“Are you raising your hand or dabbing right in the middle of my lesson on multiplication?” 

“Is there a reason you are laying on the floor or should you be in your seat working?” 

“If a sentence ends in a period it is..?” A sentence! “Well, yes but that is not the answer I was looking for.” 

“If you are dabbing in the middle of me talking, you are clearly not paying attention and you have already been talked to about dabbing during class.” 

“Walking like a duck is a recess activity not a hallway one.” 

“Well, I need to you to stop acting like a cat and act like a student who is sitting in his seat doing his work.” 

Miss Haley, you know what dabbing is? “I am a person and I have used the Internet…” 

And today’s gem…

“If you use an emoji in your writing for class, I will take off points. We do not use emojis in our formal writing.” 

I always knew my kids would say some crazy things but I never imagined I would be spouting off terrible phrases like these when my brain doesn’t work as fast as my mouth does. Somehow, they have all managed to work out and the students just go with the flow but I often look back later and think, “jeeze, I’ve got to get a grip!” 
(But really! I have to teach students not to put emojis in their class work! I think I deserve a bit of grace!) 


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