I don’t think I have ever been more lost yet more grounded in truth, faith, and purpose than I ever have been.
Today I visited an elementary school where the art teacher was recently killed. I visited as part of a mission trip put on by the summer camp I work at. We put on camp for a day at this local elementary. The principal set the scene for us by explaining that the students had recently lost their art teacher and we’re taking very hard. It was even difficult for the students to go into the art room.
As things began to wind down, I stepped back into the art room to clean up and gather our supplies. While standing in the room, I got one of those unexplainable feelings. I don’t believe in ghosts or spirits staying here on earth so it was not that. It was just a thought accompanied by an unexplainable feeling.
It hit hard how much of difference tiny things make. Tiny things were the things these kids remembered. Tiny things like little stars. They only come out on the dark… Unless you really look for them.
It hit hard what my life looks like, what the world I live in looks like. I have no idea what to think or what to do or how to move on. I am not really even sure if I should feel anything.
I feel up in the air. Yet I am tethered to something that keeps me from floating away. What, I don’t know… How I feel, I don’t know…