Welp…

Bad days happen. I know that but how many have to happen in a row before it comes back to me and means I don’t know what I am doing. My students are going wild. There are five of my 26 who, the harder I push down on the rules the more they push back. I thought we were in the clear and then one decides to do no work today and when I call home her famy member hangs up on me and the other three all of a sudden decide they no longer have to follow the rules and shout out whenever they want. 

I feel like I am doing worse now than a few weeks back. I thought I was getting better. I thought I was figuring it out and now? Now I don’t think I am. What on earth am I supposed to do? 

I have rules. I have consequences. I enforce the rules. All of sudden they don’t care anymore. Most of them have figured it out but those five are  deliberately breaking the rules and don’t feel bad about it at all. 

I think the problem may be that I have no patience for laziness. Purposely not doing work it my biggest pet peeve. I could ease up but I don’t think I should. I am stuck between thinking they are young kids and that the world is going to beat them down if they don’t figure it out now. 

I find on so many things I maybe should ease up but then morally I find it repulsive to not demand a high standard of behavior and work from every single one of them. 

I don’t think I can do this… I don’t know how to do this. I just don’t know any more. 

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