The Breakdown

After finishing my latest round of applications, here is where I stand. 

15 different positions 

14 different schools 

12 different districts

5 different grades

2 different states

13 full time positions

2 full time sub positions

3 schools who responded

3 schools who said no thanks

11 schools to hear back from

I made myself a list of all the school districts, school names, grades I applied for, and date I applied on because my brain is starting to get everything all jumbled up. I crossed out the ones who said no. There are seven days until some districts start. A week. Even if I get an interview and get a job, I will have very little time to get my act together. I am mostly terrified. But also hopeful that schools will get it in gear and want to interview me… Hopefully! 

The Third No

I heard back from another school today. The email said thanks but no thanks… Three of eleven schools I have now heard back from. All no. I haven’t even interviewed and I am being told no. Maybe it would not be so bad if I had been asked to interview. I am not sure what I doing wrong! 

I texted my cooperation teacher from student teaching again today. She was busy so I did not talk with her much but she did answer my question. I am going to call the school next week and see what they say. I hope I hear something soon. My stress level is through the roof! 

Applications are not supposed to make you cry! 

I just filled out application #11 after my mentor teacher emailed me to tell me the school district I student taught in had openings. I emailed it in at 2:04 this morning. It is now 2:18. And I have to work tomorrow morning! 

While I was filling out the application questions, I teared up a little thinking about my students from student teaching and my mentor teacher. One question On the application asked me what skills or abilities I would bring to the school. It brought me back to a moment during student teaching where I had a terrible day. It was the only day I cried in front of my mentor teacher. I felt like I had failed and couldn’t really do this. Because she is so fantastic and somehow has it figured out just how to make everything feel right, she started telling me stories about times when things did not go the way she planned and did not work out. I remember thinking at the time, at least today wasn’t that bad. Later I asked her why she stayed after all of the aweful stuff she told me about happened. Why put yourself through these situations over and over? 

Her answer is always on my mind: because these kids need someone there for them every day and she is that person. 

I almost cried again right then and there but I was able to hold it in because I was so bewildered by the simplicity in her logic. It all made sense. Why, every day, teachers put themselves through terribly rough stuff; because students need teachers who are there for them always. 

From that day forward I made a conscious effort to be there for them. To listen when they talked about video games or sports I don’t understand the rules to. To hug them for as long as they need because for some of these kids who else listens, who else hugs? In the mornings when they would come up and tell me every detail of their day after school, I listened. I didn’t send them back to the coat closet to put their things up right away. I hugged. I let them talk. Because they need to know I am there and I care. And I learned more about them that last month than the rest of the semester. 

I am not so sure if I would have ever come to the same conclusion if it had not been for my teacher putting it so simply. In the face of all the chaos that happens every day, she saw that. I cannot express how lucky I have been to have her by my side. I cannot express how lucky I am that she said that. I know things will be tough but I have to be tougher because there are kids out there who need someone to be tough for them and to listen to them and to care about them. Goodness knows that rest of the world doesn’t do such a good job at that. 

#10 and Two Weeks

Update on my search for a job: I have now applied at ten different schools¬†in nine different school districts in two different states. I have heard back from two schools; both with a “no thanks but keep us in mind for the future.” So basically, no luck yet.

There are two weeks until August first. Some schools start August first. Some a week before that. Some the week after. Not a lot of time left. Considering the fact that the date I set for making decisions passed a week ago, I am not feeling so great about this whole situation. Every day that passes and I am closer and closer to not being a teacher. I spent the past four years working hard and paying loads of money to be the person I want to be and every day the chances of being that person this school year grow smaller. I got good grades. I volunteered working with kids all through school. I worked my butt off student teaching. I substitute taught for a few days. I check several different job posting sites every day, sometimes twice a day. What is left to do but pray?

Eight schools to hear back from in two weeks time. The odds do not seem to be in my favor.

 

On another note…

I bought supplies to make restroom passes at the Hobby Lobby today. I like making my own stuff because it looks exactly like I want it to and it does not look like anyone else’s. Also it’s cheeper. I got the paper I am going to use for 50% off. I already have some wood and string leftover from other projects so the whole thing is going to cost me less than $5. Pretty good deal especially since I am currently working a slightly-more-than minimum wage job. I will post pictures as soon as the passes are done!

#9

I have officially applied at nine different elementary schools in eight different school districts in two different states. I have heard nothing… It’s great! (I am being sarcastic.) I am not really sure what I doing wrong. I thought through ever answer I gave to every question each application asked and I made good grades in school. I emailed my cooperating teacher and asked her when I should start to panic about not having a job. She conveniently skirted the question. It did make me feel a little better to hear from her. I know I should try not to worry because many people are in the same boat I am but as the first day of school creeps closer, I have to wonder of this is really going to work out for me…

I am worried that I will never get a teaching job and continue working at my part-time, slightly-more-than-minimum-wage job. With nine applications under my belt, I would have thought at least one would contact me. I am definitely nervous that I just spent four years working toward something that will never happen. I guess I got my good 15 weeks in during student teaching. With the way things are going now, that is all the time I will spend teaching in a classroom!

Application, Application, Application

I spent 2 1/2 hours today applying to jobs, getting my transcripts, writing a cover letter, and applying for my teaching license! When I write it all out it doesn’t sound like that much time to get all that done but it sure felt like it. I filled with out the most stressful application I ever have before. It gave all of these senarios and then gave examples of what people might do and I had to choose if I strongly agreed, agreed, neither, disagreed, or strongly disagreed that I would respond that way. These were not easy senarios either. I genuinely did not know how to answer some of them because responding could probably be interpreted more than one way!

Time is really ticking for me. Last year, I set July 10 as my decision making day. The day I got home from camp was supposed to be the day I decided on a job in Indiana or South Carolina. It is not really working out that way. I haven’t had a non- pre- recorded video “interview” yet. People I went to school with post on the daily that they are getting jobs and I’m over here like, “yeah… Nope! I’ve got nothing.” 

Well, if all else fails I could try subbing at many different school… Not ideal but better than nothing, I suppose!